It's been a rough week; what can I say? There's also a full moon and maybe that's part of it. As usual, there's nothing worthwhile on TV, so I fixed my bedtime tea and decided to sit on the porch and ponder. Maybe, it's because I'm in one of my internal, withdrawn, reflective moods, and that's when I realized how much I like dark. I've been in the City since 2008 after spending almost 15 years living rural. I spent 12 years on 12 O'Clock Knob and almost 3 years on Windy Gap Mountain. I miss them both for different reasons, but I love city living for equally different reasons. One thing I miss about mountain living is the dark and the quiet. That does not exist in the city. I was only on the porch for 5 minutes and I felt overwhelmed by the street lights, dogs barking, and the sound of a distant siren.. I almost never heard a siren in those 15 years of rural life. What a huge intrusion!
There is a certain comfort in dark and quiet. I like it when I know, almost for certain, that there will be no harsh lights and sounds to intrude on my thoughts. Some folks are comforted by sounds - the sounds of life all around. Maybe, it's a security thing. I like the sound of nothingness -the sound of dark and the sound of quiet. It gives me the opportunity to think...uninterrupted by the sounds of life.
There have been too many sounds this week...sad sounds. Maybe, it's just the full moon, but I'm longing for the quiet of a mountain, and the sounds of nothingness.
Today was a horrifically sad day for Roanoke and our neighbors at Smith Mountain Lake. The gunning down of two beautiful young people has left a hole in the hearts of many. I can't imagine that anyone didn't feel a basketball in the pit of their stomach over this. Even if we didn't know these folks personally, they played a a part in our lives, in a direct or indirect way. Our friend, Vicki Gardner at the Smith Mountain Lake Chamber has undergone surgery and is on the road to recovery, at least physically. I can't fathom what she is going to be dealing with on a mental and spiritual level when she learns the full impact of this tragedy.
I was out only a couple of times, briefly today. But, I noticed that the world was moving a lot slower than usual. Traffic was slower and the few people that I came in contact with were quieter, more reserved...just moving as if in slow motion. Or maybe, it was just me. I was pretty weepy today. I didn't know Alison or Adam, and Vicki is an acquaintance. But, this really knocked the winds out of my sails. I love SML; I have friends who have places there. I meet friends at Moosies a lot. It's a happy place, not a place associated with bad things or bad people. I'm supposed to meet a friend there for lunch on Saturday. I'm sure it will take my breath, just as it did when I was on the Virginia Tech campus a year or so, after those horrible mass murders.
I just think this is a time to reflect on who we are as human beings and what we believe in. The stuff has already started about gun rights, racism, mental illness and who knows whatever else the media will try to milk out of this horrible event. We need to take a serious look at where we are and what our values are and our relationship with violence, hatred, and fear, and how we deal with those issues. We stick our heads in the sand and say, "there is no problem and my way is right and your way is wrong". We are the most violent of cultures and we are one angry, fearful lot.
Maybe, It's time to slow down and think ... and reflect.
